Strictly Bollocks

I recently took one of those silly online tests to find out which F.R.I.E.N.D.S. character I am (Try it here).

Although I was certain I was going to be either Chandler or Monica (the test wasn’t gender-specific), I took it just for kicks.

The result, as expected:

People who know me very well would not find this a surprise. Since way back in high school, I’ve always been the class clown, and people have accepted me (sometimes unwillingly) to play that part. The only difference is that I don't make people laugh through actions. I don't make faces or do crazy stunts like Chandler does. It’s my sarcastic comments and offbeat reactions that people tend to remember me by.

It has even come to a point when my friends would usually “expect” me to say something witty in any given situation, even after high school. Thing is, I've kinda toned down (a little bit) in that department ever since I started taking my Psychology course seriously in college – which happened pretty late, I should say.

So every time that perfect moment comes and people don't hear me say anything sardonic, they get kinda disappointed. Which is really funny, come to think about it.

I used to date someone who had a very quiet and subdued demeanor. I was on the peak of my Chandleresque reputation at that time and although she never said it out loud, I knew she was not impressed with that particular talent of mine.

One day, we were eating out with friends and I was in the Chandler-zone. I was throwing comments all over the place and even went as far as embarrassing some of my friends. The girl I was dating apparently had enough of my crap, stood up and said, “I don’t find you funny – at all.”

Then she walked out.

We still continued seeing each other after that – it was actually a long one, that relationship – and that eye-opening moment has had a lasting impact on me until today. Since then, I became observant of the garbage coming out of my mouth. I mean I still throw jokes here and there, but I stopped mocking people directly – out loud, that is.

There’s a difference between having a witty sense of humor and being an obnoxious public heckler with zero sensitivity to people’s feelings. I’m glad I was able to control that impulse before it controlled me. From then on I just mock people in my mind.

Although sometimes it still internally pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments (hihi). Just kidding – I’m alright.

Photo credits: Tumblr | 4.bp.blogspot.com

Every year, I always try to watch ALL the contenders for Best Picture. The operative word is “try”.

I’ve done it before, though. I saw all the 2011 nominees (the year when The Artist won – which I thought should have been either Inception or Black Swan) before the Oscars ceremony. Last year I saw all of them except for Amour and Beasts of the Southern Wild (Argo won – and well-deservedly).

This year I failed to watch 3 movies: Dallas Buyers Club, Nebraska, and Her. It’s a good thing all 3 of them were NOT in the (serious) running for Best Picture.

I saw Captain Philips first and thought it was a pretty good movie and was well-acted (which is why I was devastated when I heard Tom Hanks wasn’t nominated). But despite that, I didn’t think it was that good to win Best Picture. The theme simply did not fit.

Then I saw Gravity. The feeling I had while watching that film was (almost) the same one I felt when I first saw The Dark Knight [2008]. Almost – because Gravity started out rather laid back and anti-climactic whereas TDK was wickedly suspenseful from the get-go. But Gravity was the most awesome film I’ve seen in years. I didn’t want to blink because every scene was a spectacle.

I loved the simplicity (or rather complexity?) of the plot. I loved Clooney’s charming humor (but I couldn’t help but imagine what it would have been like if Robert Downey Jr. had kept the role). I loved Sandra Bullock's performance, as I always do. I even think she deserved an Oscar more on this film than in The Blind Side [2009] but hey, as long as she’s got a statuette, I’m okay.

And of course, Alfonso Cuarón. Great Expectations [1998]. Children of Men [2006]. HP and the Prisoner of Azkaban [2004].

It instantly won me over. In my mind, Gravity would be unbeatable this year. Even James Cameron said, “I think it's the best space film ever done, and it's the movie I've been hungry to see for an awful long time."

I thought, this is it, right here. Best Picture. Of course, I was wrong.

I believe I saw 12 Years A Slave back in January. And I really liked it. I mean I REALLY liked the film. But I was absolutely certain it was not enough to beat Gravity. Despite of the breathtaking performances, especially that of Lupita Nyong'o (that girl was a sure bet), the fact is that 12 Years still remains to be a typical slavery film. Slightly brutal, yes, but hardly original.

In retrospect

Again, I loved 12 Years A Slave. But when I saw it, even though I thought it would definitely win acting awards – particularly for Michael Fassbender who I thought was awesome in the bad-ass role – I still thought Gravity was a tough film to beat, and it would take more than Brad Pitt’s unnecessary cameo for 12 Years to steal the award.

But looking back (and after watching the ceremony last March 2^nd), I came to realize the cultural impact of 12 Years as the Oscars victor. Apparently, it has become the first Best Picture that is associated with an African-American at its helm, Steve McQueen (director of Hunger [2008] and Shame [2011], both critically-acclaimed independent films, also both starred by Fassbender).

So while Gravity may have lost despite snatching 7 technical awards (including Best Director), I find solace in the fact that 12 Years has marked a milestone in Oscars history with its win. And after all, it’s a really good movie (Rotten Tomatoes gives it a 96%, just below Gravity’s 97%).

Let the Leo memes begin

I rooted for Leonardo Di Caprio to win not because of his performance in The Wolf Of Wall Street. Actually, even if he had won, I still don't think it would be because of his performance in The Wolf Of Wall Street. It was an insane performance, no doubt. But not to be remembered as his best.

But I wanted him to finally win mainly because he deserves to get one at this point in his career. He’s had a lot of acting credentials under his belt for quite some time now, but every time he gets nominated (and all for the wrong films, I might add – The Aviator and Blood Diamond) he gets pinned against mighty contenders. He lost to Jamie Foxx (Ray) in 2004 and Forest Whitaker (Last King Of Scotland) in 2006. He was also nominated as Best Supporting Actor in 1993 for What's Eating Gilbert Grape (he was 19 at that time) and lost to Tommy Lee Jones (The Fugitive).

In my opinion, Leo should’ve also been nominated for Shutter Island [2010], Gangs Of New York [2002], The Man in the Iron Mask [1998], J. Edgar [2011] and Revolutionary Road [2008] – one of my favorite films ever.

Hell, you can even include Titanic [1997].

The only real Best Actor awards to his name are 2 Golden Globes and a Critics’ Choice Award for The Aviator and The Wolf.

I mean, I’ve been dying to see Gary Oldman or Johnny depp or Robert Downey Jr to get an Oscar, but they don’t get nominated that much, whereas Leo’s almost a perennial contender. Give him a break!

Although he became a poster matinee idol after his Jack Dawson fame, Leo didn’t settle for more pretty-boy roles. He immediately leveled-up and took on character roles (The Beach, Celebrity, Catch Me If You Can) and started his apparently long campaign to take hold of that coveted statuette and steer clear of the stereotype that has forever haunted pretty boys in the likes of Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt – amazing actors without Oscars. My fear is that Leo might also take that path until he, too, gives up trying.

What’s worse than not winning (again) this year at the Oscars? Losing to Matthew McConaughey. The former king of romantic/adventure comedies.

Remember these movies?

2001: The Wedding Planner (with Jennifer Lopez)

2003: How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days (with Kate Hudson)

2006: Failure To Launch (with Sarah Jessica Parker) – dear Lord.

2008: Fool’s Gold (again with Kate Hudson)

In his defense, he did appear in Amistad and A Time To Kill in the 90’s. Those were epic films. But did you ever see Leo being paired with a blondie in a chic-flick? Nope.

After Fool’s Gold, though, Matthew only took on more serious roles and completely transformed himself into a Oscar-worthy actor (except maybe Magic Mike, lol).

I haven’t seen Dallas Buyers Club, and to be honest, I can't wait to see it. I have no doubt Matthew deserved the win, and that makes me want to see it more. I’m just really REALLY sad for Leo. I just hopes he continues to make awesome movies and never let go of that Oscar dream.

By the way, Matthew will star in the next Christopher Nolan film everyone’s been buzzing about, Interstellar, along with Anne Hathaway.

And American Hustle got ZERO Oscars. The only thing good about that bore of a movie was – you guessed it – Jennifer Lawrence.