I CAN’T ENTER.
It’s like pulling a door,
not seeing that the sign says
PUSH TO OPEN

Is there a term for that feeling you have when you’re aware that your current happiness is only temporary, and that one of these days, you’ll suddenly wake up realizing that the fun is over?

I dream of a world where meanings of life search for people.
Not the other way around.

simply makes you stranger.

- The Joker

reality is a hideous sight for my faint eyes

To those who believe, no explanation is necessary. To those who do not believe, none will suffice.

“Some things are not to be rushed, especially if you want it to last forever.”

A friend sent me this message last night, and as always, she was in perfect timing. It makes sense after all – things that we desire most are usually obtained by waiting for the right time. If it’s that important, it will always be worth the wait. But sometimes, it’s also difficult to condition yourself to be patient; we have an animalistic tendency of immediate gratification, meaning, we always want to have these things immediately.

A person’s life is a concoction of unfortunate and shocking events that require no formula. It’s a spontaneous explosion of experiences that may stretch or break our spirit. I may sound negative, but that’s the reality that I know. Having known this reality, it’s not easy to bank into my “patience” and “wait” for the desired object to come knocking at my door. I have to take action. Not one step at a time, no. If I could, I have to load all my bullets and start shooting. It’s a fierce world out there. Even the people you came to know as friends would suddenly grow fangs and suck blood out of your disintegrating ego. They would face you with their doggy smiles and bite you as you turn your back. Still not contented, they would even take away the things most dear to you. With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Now, all these elements put together would make up the spice of life: the object I want is getting nowhere close to where I am; scavengers are lurking for potential leftovers; while the rest of the world is telling me to be patient. It is in these times when the only logical thing in the world is Red Horse with ice. And even with that, I still got no time.

And so I venture into foreign territories for a while just to, you know, breathe a different air. I have no doubts that I easily get addicted with novelty tastes, at least I know how to bail out before the lions wake up.

In a world where both good and bad exist, constancy is a myth.